I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
