Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
