the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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