Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
