Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You're like the curious george of whores
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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