I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
