So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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