This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
