Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
