Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
