I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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