Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
