So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
my poor anus
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
