I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
