I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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