Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
