They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
