i barfeds in our rink
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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