Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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