Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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