'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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