She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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