Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
