He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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