dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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