Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I deserve this hangover.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
