Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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