I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The ass gains better be worth it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
