You made me cry and you don't even care
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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