she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
