I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i believe in u and ur pee
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
