Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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