brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
