The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
