she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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