Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have feelings that need drinking.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
