Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
