I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
