listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize