We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ketchup is God's man juice
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
