Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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