well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
