There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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