She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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