I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
