speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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