So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm like, not good at living.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
