Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
