mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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