Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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