Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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