Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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