i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
