I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
