So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
