Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
