I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
