He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize