Girls should come with a carfax report
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
