So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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